Here it is again, another Valentine’s Day. Sadly Kiefer Sutherland hasn’t yet turned up with a large bunch of red roses to sweep me off my feet and declare undying love and by 8am I was already fed up of hearing slushy romantic tunes all over the place (I even had to turn off the Carpenters on my I-Pod as listening to them was depressing me too much). Of course it may be that when I get home I’ll find queues of Royal Mail vans just waiting to deliver goodies from all my many admirers, but I suspect that instead I’ll probably just have a couple of bills and a takeaway menu waiting for me on the doormat.
Valentine’s Day can be a depressing business for those of us not in relationships and I hate the fact I react so badly to it. Rather than being wistfully introspective about why I am still single and unloved, it instead sets off a major bout of depression and self-doubt. I am always left wondering what is so wrong with me that no-one wants me as their valentine. Granted I’m not beautiful, and not attractively skinny, but am I really that terrible a person that not one person in the world could have romantic feelings for me? As far as I am aware I am not a monster (if I am please let me know so I can do something about it). OK, I don’t have the world’s most sparkling personality either, but I’m friendly, loyal, affectionate and house-trained (mainly). I guess the problem is that I’m an incorrigible old romantic who deep down still hopes that my life will turn out to have a fairytale ending complete with a prince and a moment like the ending to ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ where she gets carried off, and of course real life just isn’t like that. As Karen Carpenter sang “I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world, and fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find.”
So why is it so important to have a valentine anyway? I mean, if you’re in a relationship then every day is a potential Valentine’s Day. Surely there’s no need to spend a fortune on cards, flowers, chocolates and all that other old gumph just to tell your other half that you love them. I mean it’s not as if you only love them for that one day of the year is it? I guess it depends on circumstances. With a partner who is hopeless at remembering birthdays and anniversaries and is notoriously unromantic then its nice to know that at least one day a year they are thinking about you, with a more romantic partner it is less likely to be so important. In my case I think that as the years without a partner increase my desire for some sign of affection grows and the fuss made about valentines matter more. Really, it should make no difference to me that I don't receive anything … there are many other people in the world not receiving valentines either, but for some reason it does.
Valentine’s Day can be a depressing business for those of us not in relationships and I hate the fact I react so badly to it. Rather than being wistfully introspective about why I am still single and unloved, it instead sets off a major bout of depression and self-doubt. I am always left wondering what is so wrong with me that no-one wants me as their valentine. Granted I’m not beautiful, and not attractively skinny, but am I really that terrible a person that not one person in the world could have romantic feelings for me? As far as I am aware I am not a monster (if I am please let me know so I can do something about it). OK, I don’t have the world’s most sparkling personality either, but I’m friendly, loyal, affectionate and house-trained (mainly). I guess the problem is that I’m an incorrigible old romantic who deep down still hopes that my life will turn out to have a fairytale ending complete with a prince and a moment like the ending to ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ where she gets carried off, and of course real life just isn’t like that. As Karen Carpenter sang “I know I ask perfection of a quite imperfect world, and fool enough to think that’s what I’ll find.”
So why is it so important to have a valentine anyway? I mean, if you’re in a relationship then every day is a potential Valentine’s Day. Surely there’s no need to spend a fortune on cards, flowers, chocolates and all that other old gumph just to tell your other half that you love them. I mean it’s not as if you only love them for that one day of the year is it? I guess it depends on circumstances. With a partner who is hopeless at remembering birthdays and anniversaries and is notoriously unromantic then its nice to know that at least one day a year they are thinking about you, with a more romantic partner it is less likely to be so important. In my case I think that as the years without a partner increase my desire for some sign of affection grows and the fuss made about valentines matter more. Really, it should make no difference to me that I don't receive anything … there are many other people in the world not receiving valentines either, but for some reason it does.
So now it’s time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and look at things in a different way - forgetting the romantic side of Valentine’s Day, instead thinking of it as a time to celebrate that I have friends and family who I care about very much (and am incredibly lucky to have). Therefore, let me wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to ALL my family and friends – you really are very special to me and I love you all very much.
1 comment:
{{{hugs}}}
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