Lord, has it really been that long since I last blogged? I know I haven’t had much going on, but this is ridiculous. Anyway, since I last talked to you, Great Britain showed that it really is great and hosted the best Olympic and Paralymic games ever (no of course I’m not biased); J K Rowling has released a new and completely brilliant book; The Hobbit trailer was finally released to a lot of excitement; I Am Kloot at last (thank heavens) announced some concerts ‘down south’; my computer and my washing machine both gave up the ghost (sadly in the same week) and Mrs H3 and I once again committed ourselves to attempting to attend this year’s Snow Ball in Edinburgh.

And now it’s that time of year again – I mean, of course, NaNoWriMo. Now normally at this time of the month I’m waxing lyrical about how I’m ready to tackle the 1,667 words that I need to write every day to meet the 30 November deadline of 50,000 words and as we all know from previous years I either start out well, then tail off or get sidetracked before I even really get going and then have a mad spurt at the end of the month. So I was all ready to go and actually even had a plot idea for once – something that doesn’t usually happen properly at this stage of the game, but sad to say I’m really not feeling in the mood for writing this year. I’m not entirely sure why, but at the moment I’m just not feeling the NaNoWriMo love and am thinking of skipping it for the first time since 2008. It may be that as the month goes on my need to write will return and I’ll make a late attempt but at the moment it just isn’t happening. However, if you want to have a go, please check out their website at the link.  

Although I’m not writing at the moment books have once again become a large part of my life. For some reason I went through a period of about six months when I didn’t pick up a single book, not even Harry Potter – and I’m sure anyone who knows me knows what a strange and shocking thing that is (and not just the not reading Harry Potter). I’m not sure why this was, but now I’m back with a vengeance and am voraciously reading anything I can lay my hands on. Terry Pratchett, Lauren Kate, Cassandra Clare, John Connolly, the lovely James Herbert, Dean Koontz and of course the wonderful J K Rowling have all featured in my reading list over the last few months – and all have been brilliantly entertaining and well worth checking out.

As the weather gets colder and the nights draw in, Mrs H3 and I are finally getting some evenings out. Firstly was a small and intimate, but completely wonderful evening with the fantastic Chris Singleton and the Distractions a couple of weeks ago, check out the link for a free download of Chris’ first album ‘Twisted City’. Although there weren’t anywhere near enough people there considering the quality of the band, those of us that were had a truly excellent night. The picture isn’t great quality as it was very dark in there, but not bad considering.

Chris Singleton and the Distractions

Next was our usual annual jaunt to the Halloween Night of Fear with Alice Cooper, which of course saw us dressing up in our scary best. Note the fantastic face paint that Mrs H3 put on me – she’s a true artist that one! Alice was good, but I don’t think he was a patch on previous years. I wasn’t keen on the Wembley venue (especially when it was scheduled at the same time as the NFL American football – trying to get to the venue through the thousands of leaving football fans was a complete nightmare and we only just made it in time) and the sound quality wasn’t very good. Initially I thought it was because I’d been struck down with the lurgy the week before and my ears were still playing up, but Mrs H3 and plenty of others confirmed that wasn’t the case. The stage show was scaled back too, which was interesting, but not as entertaining as the usual beheadings etc., although the snake and the strait jacket did make an appearance. Strangely he chose to do a tribute to Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix and Keith Moon which took four songs – a little surprising when he has such an extensive back catalogue of his own that he could draw upon instead, and when he didn’t play ‘Only Women Bleed’ which I thought was mandatory. It was still a good evening though, although very wet, which is unusual for Halloween and I’m sure was because I went for the full face paint.    

Do you think I've overdone the make-up?

And so onto the future when on 20^th November we finally get to see I Am Kloot for the first time in what seems like forever (definitely well over a year), playing a preview of their forthcoming album ‘Let It All In’. Obviously I’m extremely excited by this, although somewhat nervous as I am desperately hoping this latest Elbow-produced offering doesn’t have the lush orchestrations of the last one and makes a return to the raw, lyric-driven sound of their previous albums. Having heard the first single from it I’m not entirely hopeful, but trying to reserve judgement until I’ve heard the whole thing. The album is released in time for my birthday (hurrah) and is followed by a couple of concerts in London and Brighton in February, which we will, of course, be at. Actually, trying to get tickets was mental, something that has never been a problem before and there was a scary moment where it actually looked like we weren’t going to get them – which would have caused a strop of massive proportions from me. It’s already bad enough having to pay double what it used to cost to see them (since their Mercury music award nomination) without not being able to get a ticket!

Of course Gary Numan makes an appearance before Christmas too on the 7^th December, where hopefully he’ll be recovered from his recent move to Los Angeles. And then, just after my birthday on 31 January we’ll finally be seeing Passenger, a band that I’ve loved for years but have never yet quite managed to get round to seeing live.

And so once again Mrs H3 and I are heading to Edinburgh in an attempt to go to the Snow Ball  I’m fairly confident that this year we’ll actually make it as it’s being held at the beginning of December, so hopefully less chance of snow (and us getting stuck at both ends as we did last time) and we’re travelling the day before rather than on the day of the Ball itself just to make doubly sure. This year’s star attraction from the USA is the original wizard rockers Harry and the Potters, who we haven’t seen since Leakycon last year. With RiddleTM, Siriusly Hazza P and Romilda Vane and the Chocolate Cauldronsproviding first class support it’s going to be a great evening and is the first Harry Potter event we’ve attended in ages and will help to soothe our bitter hearts for not managing to get tickets for Leakycon London next year (still not ready to blog about that). Expect lots of photos of all the lovely witches and wizards in their finest robes ready to Wrock the night away in the magical city that Jo Rowling calls home at Europe’s premiere wizard rock event.

Every Cloud's Got A Silver Lining?

I’ve been having a bit of a rough time for the last week or so. A week ago today I received a letter at work telling me that my post will cease to exist on 31 March 2012. Now I knew this was coming, at least I was aware of the likelihood as I’d been told last year it was going to happen. But since then there had been radio silence on what exactly was happening or when, apart from rumours suggesting that nothing more had been heard as it still wasn’t certain to happen. So receiving the letter was a bit like hearing that someone who you knew was ill and had been for a while had died. It wasn’t unexpected, but it was still a shock – and it still hurt.

The loss of my post makes me very angry when I think about it, as for a second time within my current career, the time I have spent training for my specialism has been thrown away for no seemingly good reason. Whilst I am aware that the decisions were based purely on post rather than anything else (or so I’ve been assured by my section head), it annoys me that other people within my division with no relevant experience or training are actively seeking to leave and yet their posts are remaining. Of course these people are at a higher grade, because once again the cuts have removed the remaining lower grade posts to ensure the higher still have a job.

In reality I suppose I am lucky that the loss of a post doesn’t mean the loss of my job (at the moment, although compulsory redundancies must be coming soon as the Department has to reach the 40% target imposed by the Government and they just aren't getting the numbers through voluntary redundancies, and I don’t want to be without a post when that happens). Even once my post ends, I will still be employed, but need to find a different post within the Department. And this too is causing me some distress. Whilst I haven’t yet been shown the whole range of posts available to the “redeployment pool” which will be my new home from the beginning of April, the ones which have been posted for general consumption have been insipid, tedious or generally of such poor quality that it is almost enough to induce a severe bout of depression whenever I look at them – and quite often reduces me to tears. I am hoping that once the pool is open to me there will be something with a little more quality about it, but to be honest I’m not holding my breath. I am also hoping that I can get something in London (not guaranteed as I’m classified as mobile and therefore theoretically could be posted anywhere in the country, although being frank I’d rather get posted to the Falkland Islands than Bristol – at least I’d make some decent money and get to see penguins in their natural habitat!)

Of course, neither of my specialisms are likely to make an appearance, as the IT jobs were all contracted out a long time ago and Health and Safety doesn’t seem to be very popular at the moment and most H&S jobs are dead-men’s shoes. Unfortunately the biggest H&S section and the one in London, is the one from which I am losing my post anyway.

I have been wondering whether my career would have been any more successful if I hadn’t followed the advice that the Department gave out in the late nineties that people should develop one or more ‘anchors’ – streams of specialism that would see them through their career. Maybe if I hadn’t bothered getting all that training, doing all that extra work to make myself more employable and get a better quality job I’d be rattling along somewhere in a safe job, or maybe I’d still be in HR (which come to think of it is a third specialism)RHRh.     

As if my week wasn’t bad enough I also received a lot of bad financial news too, which, when I received a nasty letter about the Council Tax was the final nail in the coffin. The despair, pain and general self-loathing which had been building up for quite some time erupted like Mount Vesuvius.

Having been in this position depression-wise many times in the past I know how hard it is to drag myself out of the pit of despair once I’m there and was seriously considering that I might need to pay a visit to the doctor (something that Moodscope has been suggesting for a few weeks now) as retreating to bed to bury my head in the sand doesn’t help to sort my finances or find me another post. But then, when I was probably at my lowest point for a long time I read a blog post by a friend, Mel, which made me stop and think.

I haven’t yet read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green as I can’t afford to get it at the moment, but everyone I know who has read it (and that’s a lot of people from the HP fandom) all loved the book and raved about how much it had made them laugh and cry, just as Mel described. And her admonition to enjoy life, along with her list of the brilliant things she had done last year made me sit down and think about all the amazing things I did last year too.

As a natural depressive it’s sometimes hard to think about the good things that have happened as the bad always seems to overshadow them. It’s hard to think about the little pleasures, the enjoyment one has taken in reading a book, for example, when everything in your future looks bleak, or you’re still holding onto the bad things that have already happened. For instance I once vaguely considered joining a dating website but gave up the idea when I reached the question which asked me to explain what I was thankful for. At the time this question was impossible for me to answer, because I couldn’t think of a single good thing in my life (I was deep in the midst of the worst bout of depression I’d had for many years at the time). I’m not entirely sure I could answer it satisfactorily now, but I could at least cobble together some sort of answer. And after reading Mel’s blog I could at least think about the good things that happened last year.

And do you know what? They really did outweigh the bad things (with the possible exception of dad’s death which was a massive bad thing).

Thinking about the good made me more positive, and that in turn made me more determined. I finally tackled all the rubbish that I’ve been storing in my flat, meaning to get rid of, but never quite getting round to doing it - meaning that I finally have a little space to breathe. It’s only a start and there’s more that needs to be done, but it is definitely a start and I already feel that I can better cope with what’s left (before I often considered setting fire to the flat just to get away from it all).

Then I tackled my finances. It turned out that there had been a series of computer errors which were fairly easily sorted once I summoned up the nerve to contact the various companies. Of course finances are still tight, after all it’s that really long month after the Christmas overspend, but at least I now know that with careful budgeting I can afford to live, although unfortunately not in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed – I really do still need to win the lottery or marry a millionaire for that to happen.        

Now I have to sort out my job, and in particular I need to write a CV and my competences. This is something that has been giving me trouble since I first found out that I was going to lose my post, but I think I’m finally ready to deal with it and hopefully with a little positivity I’ll be able to make a good enough job of it to get a decent post.

I did, for a very short while, entertain the idea of leaving the Civil Service and going to work at Leavesden at the Warner Brothers Studio Tour (which opens just as my post finishes), as it would be an ideal for job for me. I even discussed it with a few people, all of whom were equally sure that it would be a great choice for me (let’s face it, a chance to dress up and show off my knowledge of Harry Potter = heaven). But in reality it wasn’t a good choice. Whilst the job would be great, I imagine the money isn’t wonderful and I am far too old, as they are looking for youngsters who are willing to work for the enjoyment rather than the money. And with my current financial commitments I have to seriously consider the money. It was also too far away. A huge trek to get to work every day does not make for a healthy mind and body as I already know, even if you get to dress up as a witch at the end of it.      

And so next week is my birthday, another potentially depressing day when I realise that yet another year has gone by without me becoming significantly skinnier, wealthier or more loved. But whereas earlier this week the black cloud of my despair had already turned the day into something bad because of my inability to afford to celebrate in any way, my new more positive self is looking forward to it. Yes, I might be another year older and all those bad things may still be true. But it’s the start of a new year where, if I can keep up the positive outlook, great things could happen. And I know, that even without the money to celebrate in style, I have friends who care for me enough to make my day special regardless of what we do.     

Happy Halloween, Birthday and NaNoWriMo

So it’s Halloween weekend, and although the TV has been full of Christmas ads (just to annoy me I’m sure) and a Harry Potter one (whoop whoop - only 19 days ‘til the new film) it does actually seem pretty Halloweeny.

Partly this is because I have a lot of online friends who are from the US and of course they’re all bonkers about Halloween, but also because finally Halloween is becoming a big deal over here in the UK too.

I love that this is the case because it gives me the excuse to dress up even more often than I already do and Halloween gives me the chance to go to extraordinary lengths (and I don’t just mean wig-wise). This year we decided to forgo the usual Sherwood Oak Halloween party as part of our celebrations and instead went to see Ghost Stories at the Duke of York’s theatre in London.

I can’t tell you much about it, as like the Mousetrap, they ask you not to reveal details to people, but I will say that it is definitely worth seeing. Clever and atmospheric, it was a good alternative to an evening in the pub and far more entertaining, although the scariest bit for me was looking round at Mrs H3 in the dark, and her looking back – as she was dressed as the puppet from the Saw films and looked brilliant (and terrifying).

Although it’s actually Halloween today, we’ve taken a break, except for pumpkins (mine’s Severus Snape) and pumpkin scented candles (loving Yankee Candle’s Moonlight Harvest at the moment). This is because I’m (supposed to be) getting ready for the main event which takes place tomorrow night. Mrs H3 and I are off to join Alice Cooper at the Roundhouse for his Night of Fear and are expecting to have a bloody good time (see what I did there). I’ve got all sorts of great ideas running around my brain as to what to go as, but can’t quite pin myself down to one idea.

Anyway, whatever I come with up with I’ll be sharing in our Halloween album once we get the photos uploaded.

This weekend has also been my sister’s Jo’s 40th birthday and I celebrated it by sending her some flowers and a bunch of balloons that Freddie just loved playing with. That boy is so cute!

Finally, it’s that time of the year again…yep, I mean it’s NaNoWriMo time. Yes, I know I always sign up, and yes I know I always faff about all month not writing anything and then post a whiny blog about half way through the month (which usually comes to more words than I’ve written of my novel) complaining about lack of writing, but as they say, hope springs eternal.

As ever I’ve only got a half formed idea in my mind, or more accurately about 6 half formed ideas, none of which go together (at the moment) – although after discovering that bookstores are now having whole shelves catering to teenage paranormal romance I may do something along that line instead, but I’m really hoping that in a month pretty much devoid of any excitement (apart from the Harry Potter film (did I mention it was out on 19th November?) and the chance to ogle Snape for the minute or so that they’ll give him on screen) that I’ll really be able to buckle down this time and get the job done.

Interestingly, my boss has also signed up to do it so maybe the two of us can encourage each other. Actually…maybe not.

Bleurgh!

I hate it when a plan doesn’t come together.

There I was on Friday expecting to spend a happy night curled up on the sofa with my book and a couple of glasses of wine. Unfortunately, I spent the evening with my head over a bucket being sick as a very sick dog and trying not to pass out from dizziness instead. No idea why. I thought maybe food poisoning at the time, but after excessive sleep and a feeling of nausea all day on Saturday and continuing into today along with a headache which is only just beginning to fade it makes it more likely that I had a bug. Still fragile today, I have the dubious pleasure of feeling like I spent all day yesterday doing abdominal crunches where my muscles have seized up after all that retching.

Still on the bright side I’ve finished the book and finally know what all the fuss was about (yes of course I checked out the furore as soon as I was done with it, although I’m saving the podcasts for when I go back to work). Not being religious or extremist and being perfectly well aware that vampires don’t really exist, at least not in the way the Cullen’s are portrayed, I actually had little problem with the book.

For me it was every bit as enjoyable as the previous three and the story was just as unlikely as any of the prequels. I can’t really say much without giving away spoilers, unfair for anyone who is yet likely to read it, but I’d have said the story was pretty much predictable for anyone who has a basic grasp of the characters and their motivations. This sounds like a criticism, but it really isn’t. For me the series read exactly like what it was, a teenage romance that just happened to involve supernatural characters.

As I said before I’m a sucker for vampire stories and also for romances, so it fit perfectly into my reading schedule. It reminded me in some ways of the fantastic Freda Warrington vampire series – ‘Taste of Blood Wine’; ‘A Dance in Blood Velvet’ and ‘The Dark Blood of Poppies’, although Freda’s books are far better written and much more adult in tone. I know these books seem to be rare as hen’s teeth to get hold of but if you prefer less teen romance, more classic vampire seduction then definitely check out these books. They are firmly in my top three favourite vampire series of all time, along with Brian Lumley’s ‘Necroscope’ series and of course the quintessential vampire stories by Anne Rice.

In retrospect I don’t regret buying ‘Breaking Dawn’ at all. Yes I was weak-willed as Mrs H3 so kindly pointed out, but I needed to know what happened and now I do and am very happy because of that. And now I look forward to ‘Midnight Sun’, the retelling of ‘Twilight’ from Edward Cullen’s perspective; mainly because I feel it will be interesting to see how the author deals with the vampire side of things properly and I won’t be able to resist reading romance from Edward's viewpoint.

But what to read next? Well I’m currently reading the new Jeffrey Deaver ‘The Sleeping Doll’, that I started last week before I bought ‘Breaking Dawn’ and I’m rereading all the Harry Potters (currently close to finishing ‘Goblet of Fire’). I really want to read Matthew Reilly’s ‘Six Sacred Stones’, the follow-on to ‘Seven Ancient Wonders’ that I thoroughly enjoyed, as soon as I go shopping in Asda to buy a copy. But I’m now wondering whether it might be time to re-read the classic vampire stories I love, after all it’s been a few years since I read the Freda Warrington, the Anne Rice and the Brian Lumley. Oh and while I think of it, maybe its time to dig out George R R Martin’s wonderful ‘Fevre Dream’ too.

A Little Light Weekend Reading

Okay so I caved in and bought ‘Breaking Dawn’ the final book in the ‘Twilight’ series by Stephenie Meyer. I wasn’t going to, in fact I was determined to wait until the paperback came out; knowing that although I’d enjoyed the first three I could (just about) bear to wait for the paperback to find out what happened.

Except of course I couldn’t.

Now I think I did pretty well considering. I mean the book’s been out for over a fortnight now, so I didn’t crumble at the first hurdle and pre-order from Amazon, nor did I go to the midnight launch party (been there and done that with HP). Even after a couple of days I was standing firm. I didn’t even crumble when the internet was filled with stories about fan backlash with the ending – I just ignored the stories (with some difficulty) even though I was of course dying to know what happened and just why everyone was so upset. But then spoilers started appearing everywhere. On You Tube video comments; on the ‘Twilight’ sites (of course) and more annoyingly, on the Harry Potter sites, as there is a huge crossover of fans between the two series. Still I managed to stay rigid. But then came the onslaught of the podcasts.

Now I listen to a lot of podcasts, and especially to Harry Potter ones like Snapecast, Pottercast and Mugglecast (to name just three of the many). Of course ‘Twilight’ is big news everywhere right now and has been discussed briefly on previous podcasts, but now ‘everyone’ has read the final book the spoilers and more in depth discussion on the books themes are starting on there too. Mugglecast even did an interview with Stephenie. To have to turn off a perfectly interesting podcast halfway through because I’m one of the few people who hasn’t yet read the conclusion to the Cullen saga is frankly annoying.

Unable to go without my podcast fixes and unwilling to ruin the ending of what seems so far like a perfectly good book with heavy duty spoilers I finally gave in this lunchtime and bought a copy. As at this moment I am 204 pages into it (yes, like the others it is pretty easy reading) with another 550 to go. With no plans for this weekend I guess I know now what I’ll be doing; although if it’s anything like reading the HP books I won’t be able to put it down till it’s over.

Expect a late night and a few glasses of wine as I join Bella, Edward and Jacob for one last story (until ‘Midnight Sun’ comes out of course). I can always sleep tomorrow night!